the Yelp

The only reason I will give brooklyn 5 stars ?  Dining in williamsburg, brooklyn height, park slope…

Here are the three star reasons.

1. If my jean isn’t TIGHT, I am not hip enough to be or live this borough ? Pah lizz !

2. I shower two times a day.  I don’t belong here :)

3. My hair might be long/shaved head. I do smell good.

4. My ass is def. disqualified to b considered a hipster.  Just too JLo big. Hippy? possibly and  occasionally.

5. I pay extra money to get T shirt that long enuff cover up my belly button and jean to be comfortable when sit down or stand up.  Tight pant sure split sometime….not cool.

I do not have anything against hippy or hipsters as I have a few friends dressing n acting like one..  Thank god, they smell  (sniff sniff).. .kinda nice.

6. Outside of 3 areas I mentioned above, Brooklyn does smell like cat pee, no shit!

Graffiti is the reason of three star.  Yet again, it’s an art of rotten society.  I wanna move all these trying very hard hipsters to Upper East/West.  Those area are too pretentious n need some color!   I guess this what make Brooklyn a little more interesting place to live than dodging bullet in Bronx everyday n night.

Look man, I love hipsters, ok. Just my ass is too big for that tight pants.