church ticks off man (boston, ma)

Trinity Church  

Category: Churches 
Neighborhood: Back Bay


★ 11/19/2010
I’m a pretty average mainstream Episcopalian and I go to church about ten times a year or so for my own benefit. However, I absolutely hate this church. Yes, I said it: I hate Boston’s famed Trinity Church.

Maybe it’s the gift shop that you have to enter through when you first arrive in the church that ticks me off. It could be the fact that you have to pay a five dollar fee to walk around a building that is supposed to be available for the helpless and poor. However, the real problem with this church is that it seems to suffer from an identity crisis - the people running this place seem to have forgotten that they run a house of worship and not a museum.

snackaholic knocks furiously on wood (manhattan, ny)

Regal Union Square Stadium 14  

Category: Cinema 
Neighborhoods: Greenwich Village, Union Square, East Village

★ 3/29/2012



What I really want to do is write a review for my office’s vending machine. Since that’s not an option I’m going with the obvious next choice, the movie theater down the street. Much like the vending machine, I can be spotted here frequently, perhaps too frequently. 

If you have been to any regular movie theater in the continental US, you have been to this theater. Regal 14 features typical movies (you aren’t going to catch the newest indie here) with your typical over-priced concessions (as always, I recommend buying from a nearby Duane Reade and sneaking it in), typical lines during peak hours (especially for the newest/hottest releases), typical screens (non Imax), typical girl asking you if you would prefer a large drink for only $0.25 more, typical everything (everything, everything, everything). 

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a bad movie theater. I have never once (KNOCKS FURIOUSLY ON WOOD) seen a bug here, thankfreakinggod. Also, I generally have never had a problem finding a seat or seeing the screen, no matter how crowded the theater may be. And I have never gotten food poisoning from the Twizzlers. Still, it’s just your basic theater. I usually head over to the Angelica or Landmark or Ziegfield if I’m trying to experience more in life…. or if I just want better concessions.

married man celebrates twink’s belated birthday (Manhattan, ny)

Danal - CLOSED  

Categories: French, Breakfast & Brunch 
Neighborhoods: Greenwich Village, Union Square

★ Update - 11/11/2011
Sadly, Danal has closed.

Listed in: Romantic Spots in the City

1 Previous Review: Hide »

  • 11/20/2009

    Birthday dinners are always a great opportunity to try a new restaurant, or in the case, try more than just the appetizers tasted from the previous excursion. This occasion was actually a belated b-day dinner and my “friend-male companion” with whom, in the spirit of government transparency, I AM HAVING THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE. And isn’t it sweet that he took me to dinner? Oh how married men adore me!

    So I chose Danal, because the first time around, I loved the cozy, rustic feel of the place even though the upstairs seating area has a very high ceiling. Plus and as stated before, didn’t really get to try much of the menu so since I got choice of where to eat, I chose Danal. This time we were seated in the downstairs area (even more cozy!), which was actually a bit more romantic (though romance was definitely not the point of the evening). By cozy, I also mean that the tables were close enough so that our neighbors’ conversations could be easily followed and their food easily stolen from beneath their chins if we so desired. It also explained their amused faces when my date and I started talking about non-monogamy.  My lover (he’s kind of my lover though, no?) and I got a half-dozen fresh oysters. They were very fresh (and lemony) with the exception of one, which the kitchen gladly replaced and in fact, gave two.  The waitress filled our water glasses with this ceramic picture of a rooster head where the water came out of the beak. LOVED THAT! My dinner mate is straight edge so I didn’t even bother looking at the wine list (sorry about that), but the dinner menu is geared toward a classic French palette, but you’ll still find Moroccan Chicken with olives, prunes and preserved lemons, as well as a Pumpkin ravioli dish with gorgonzola, brown butter, sage and pine nuts. I had a perfected executed Salmon en Papillote with a julienne of zucchini and carrots, lemon, herbs and butter.  The salmon had perfect texture, not overcooked. Simple and delicious. My companion had the Seared Duck Breast with cherry sauce, roasted acorn squash and wild rice with dried cranberries. He said it was very good and it did smell fantastic, despite my general dislike for the smell of cooked meats. 


amish gay looks for dignity (Manhattan, ny)

Gerry’s - CLOSED  

Categories: Men’s ClothingWomen’s Clothing 
Neighborhoods: Chelsea, Meatpacking District


Update - 11/21/2009
GERRY’S IS NOW CLOSED. Boo.

1 Previous Review: Hide »

  • 6/28/2008

    To me, there are only two legitimate ways to deal with a heart in crisis: 

    1) compulsively collecting exotic sexual conquests like an Amish gay, gay Christian Scientist, gay neo-Nazi, etc.
    2) retail therapy.  

    Oh wait, there is a third:

    3) a long, drawn out, creatively productive bout (read: era) of self-loathing

    And let’s be honest, don’t new clothes give you more overall pleasure in the long run? So to medicate myself, I like to spend money on good looking shit that I shouldn’t be buying and the men’s side Gerry’s is one of those places I like to go to to spend my earnings.

    The last two purchases there have been these rockin’ shirts by Scotch &  Soda, both running around $90 a piece, but perfect for my lean Asiatic bod The place also carries Hugo Boss, John Varvatos for Converse, Juicy Couture, Original Penguin, and an array of other brands, including higher end denim like Seven For All Mankind, True Religion, etc.). I particularly like the staff who aren’t too pushy but are attentive. 

    And the store is very clean, very minimal., very ideal if you work there because closing would be a breeze. They don’t really sell anything but some sneakers, shirts, ti-shirts, shorts, jeans, and a few accessories, but their selection is pretty on point.

    Gerry’s is always worth wandering into to sniff around. Just don’t be expecting to find your “dignity”, “parent’s approval” or straight men there.


AMBITIOUS DOG sentenced to death (BROOKLYN, NY)

Maria Hernandez Park  

Category: Parks 
Neighborhood: Bushwick


5/8/2012
OVERHEARD AT MARIA HERNANDEZ PARK:

(Woman on phone) “Hi im calling because my friend’s dog just swallowed a rat”

nuff said!

fishy odor dissipates eventually (boston, ma)

Gaslight Brasserie Du Coin  

Category: French 
Neighborhood: South End


★ 2/14/2010
I wish I could rate Gaslight fairly, but that would require 2 ranking systems, one a scale of taste & atmosphere, and the other a scale of death.  For taste, they get 5 stars. For the death rating, they get 1 star.  Together, that makes 2, and I think it’s pretty generous.  My boyfriend and I had a lovely pre-Valentine’s day meal there last night, Saturday the 13th, and as I am writing this review, he still has not stopped throwing up ( I wish I was kidding!)  He’s had diarrhea and been vomiting for the last 18 hours out of those 24, so I will probably be taking him to the hospital soon.  On the other hand, our meal was absolutely delicious.  The chocolate mousse was out of this world, as was his fillet mignon.  Luckily, I only had a bite or two of his filet mignon … and apparently my pieces were cooked through, because while my stomach grumbled and was kind of hurting and unhappy, I am still writing this review while he is in pain in bed or praying to the porcelain god. I could not imagine that Gaslight would serve something like this.  Although I DO recall a VERY strong fish odor last night in the restaurant (we were sitting in a booth by the kitchen) - luckily that went away after about 5-10 minutes or so.


WOMAN HOPES WILL IS DOING WELL IN REHAB (CAMBRIDGE, MA)

Judy Jetson  

Categories: Hair SalonsSkin Care 
Neighborhood: Porter Square

 4/26/2012
I guess I would have given 5 stars if I had walked in and said “Could you please give me a mullet capped with a muffin top?”

But I didn’t, so I won’t. I look like I’m wearing a mushroom cap, and that sh&t is going to take a while to grow out. So Will did drugs in the bathroom, that doesn’t mean you guys should have fired the only talent ever to have worked here. 

a shotgun wedding for woman and froyo (CHICAGO, IL)

ZBerry  

Category: Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt 
Neighborhood: Hyde Park

★★★★★ 1/31/2012 

1 Check-in Here
You know I love the froyo when within two scoops of it I am simultaneously asking it to marry me and telling it not to speak.

sweaty girl loves her guy friends (MANHATTAN, NY)

Chrystie 141  

Categories: Dance ClubsKaraokeLounges 
Neighborhood: Lower East Side

★★★★ 9/28/2011 

1 Check-in Here
Stumbled in to Mystique on a whim after a grueling flag football practice*. Dressed in tights, soccer shorts, sneakers, and a sweaty tee (as were my friends) I was pretty certain they were going to deny us entry at the door despite the fact that the place looked pretty quiet late on a Monday night. To my surprise the bartender welcomed us in and let me know that Monday night the special was $3 for any draft. Um, winner! Captain Lawrence on tap? CHAMPION.

After we grabbed our beers we headed down to the dance floor and watched the regulars doing salsa. I’m not much for dancing, so I just convinced my teammates to mack it to the single ladies… one got a dance, the other it was a swing and a miss**. Eek! 

I wandered around after using the bathroom*** and found a second floor. Heard some ridiculousness coming from behind one of the doors so I decided to pop my head in and sure enough there was a group of people doing karaoke. By far the strangest bar I have ever been to - and I’ve been to some pretty strange bars****. 

Needless to say I’m looking forward to coming back on a Monday night with some of my lady friends. I know they like to dance and I have a feeling that place is right up their alley. The fact that there’s always the option to do karaoke and the selection of beers on tap is AWESOME for a “lounge” makes it an ideal spot for me to make an absolute fool of myself. 

I’ll be back.

———-

* Yes, some people do practice flag football.
** The chick who shot my friend down was a jerk. She didn’t even look him in the eye when she told him no. Rude.
*** One bathroom. One toilet. I don’t know how this works when the place is jumping and I kind of don’t want to know. 
**** Strangest bar = some goth bar in Dallas, Texas. That was the scariest experience of my life. There were whips…and chains…and all I know was that I was wearing a white tee shirt that said, “Hug Me I’m A Canadian!”

sensitive biker gets honked at (brooklyn, ny)

Tarzian Hardware  

Categories: Nurseries & GardeningHardware Stores 
Neighborhood: Park Slope

★★ 6/29/2011

Their van honked right up behind me while I was riding my bike in the Slope (minding my side of the road, even!).  Which is not cool.  Car horns are for cars.  Not biker ears.

And I know some jerks are probably going to try to flag this because it’s not enough about the store…but I say it IS about a Yelpable aspect of this business.  

Anyway, I’ve been through this store a coupla times too, and it’s pretty meh.  So I stand by my rating.  


Mac n cheese enthusiast enjoys the mac n cheese variety of mac n cheese (manhattan, ny)

S’MAC  

Categories: American (Traditional)Gluten-Free 
Neighborhood: East Village


★★★ 5/4/2012 1 Check-in Here
I came here because I was super excited about mac n cheese and getting the mac n cheese platter. I think this place is worth coming to because the varieties of mac n cheese in the platter is super cool, but the quality of their mac n cheese is just okay. And the restaurant is really small and is self-seated, so it’s not the best place to go for a dining experience.

Nonetheless, I would go once just to try all the different kinds of mac n cheese. It’s worth it for that!

large assed man shunned for splitting pants occasionally (BROOKLYN, NY)

Brooklyn  

Category: Public Services & Government 
Neighborhood: Williamsburg - North Side

★★★ 6/22/2010
The only reason I will give brooklyn 5 stars ?  Dining in williamsburg, brooklyn height, park slope…

Here are the three star reasons.

1. If my jean isn’t TIGHT, I am not hip enough to be or live this borough ? Pah lizz !

2. I shower two times a day.  I don’t belong here :)

3. My hair might be long/shaved head. I do smell good.

4. My ass is def. disqualified to b considered a hipster.  Just too JLo big. Hippy? possibly and  occasionally.

5. I pay extra money to get T shirt that long enuff cover up my belly button and jean to be comfortable when sit down or stand up.  Tight pant sure split sometime….not cool.

I do not have anything against hippy or hipsters as I have a few friends dressing n acting like one..  Thank god, they smell  (sniff sniff).. .kinda nice.

6. Outside of 3 areas I mentioned above, Brooklyn does smell like cat pee, no shit!

Graffiti is the reason of three star.  Yet again, it’s an art of rotten society.  I wanna move all these trying very hard hipsters to Upper East/West.  Those area are too pretentious n need some color!   I guess this what make Brooklyn a little more interesting place to live than dodging bullet in Bronx everyday n night.

Look man, I love hipsters, ok. Just my ass is too big for that tight pants.

TRUMP TOWER OVERRUN WITH WEBS OF DECEIT (MANHATTAN, NY)

Trump Tower  

Neighborhoods: Midtown West, Midtown East


★★★ 4/24/2012
Funny, I live in New York  and didn’t know it was a tourist attraction.
A boring one if you ask me at least as it compares to real tourist attractions.
I don’t watch the show but apparently  it is filmed here. http://en.wikipedia.or…
In between jobs I used to baby sit at hotels it involves a huge background check , psychological check, drug testing, references, criminal check, credit check , you practically have to be Mother Teresa to baby sit at the hotels.
I understand the scrutiny because people are placing their trust in the hands of a stranger. But it can be just as scary meeting and baby sitting for wealthy  strangers who may just be looking to use you as a scape goat in their web of deceit and evil who have the money and resources to bury you.  And their is no background check done on the parents. All I can say about the people I met here is money doesn’t buy integrity, honesty, safety, inner strength, decency, sanity  or character.

long winded nerd goes to pie’s n thighs very early (BROOKLYN, NY)

Pies ’N’ Thighs  

Categories: SouthernBarbeque 
Neighborhood: Williamsburg - South Side

★★★★  4/14/2012 

1 Check-in Here

Another lovely morning in Brooklyn, another early run around Bushwick, and plans to enter Manhattan on foot via the Williamsburg Bridge would lead me to breakfast at Pies-n-Thighs, a hipster hangout that had been on my agenda during two previous trips to New York but a spot I’d not yet made it to largely due to its location.  This time without any excuses and bolstered by good word of mouth from some mouths that I trust I arrived at the small shop before they had even raised the metal awnings but with people hustling in and out the backdoor you could certainly tell that there was action inside even before the doors opened at 9:00am.

With the metal raised and the doors unlocked as I wandered the surrounding environs I made my way into Pies n’ Thighs as the first customer of the day and with the new Sleigh Bells playing on the overhead satellite radio I was asked if I was dining in or getting something to go and stating “Probably a little of both” I was given my choice of any seat in the house - all 18 of them - and using my placemat as a menu after checking out the fresh daily selections at the counter my order was placed within minutes and both my water glass and coffee mug were filled - the later with a locally roasted Ethiopian Yirgacheffe whose flavor and quality far outweighed the $1.50 asking price considering I had no less than three refills.

Having heard good things about both the proteins and the carbs at Pies n’ Thighs it would not be long before more order began to arrive, the first a Pecan Crunch Donut that ranks amongst my top five all time combining a nearly cake-like crumb with a surprisingly yeast-like raise into something that I could best describe as a buttercake like texture beneath a slick molasses glaze and bits of crumbled pecans.  Like pecan pie in a donut form this was divine and never one to skimp on the sweets it led to the order of a second donut, presumably for *later*, to see if it was equally as good - it was a filled Sour Cherry Donut and considering the fact that it arrived to my table still warm on a plate I ate it immediately feeling a slight tinge of disappointment that there was not a lot of filling but impressed by the crisp glaze and golden shell overlying the buttery cakelike interior.

Moving on to my savory of the morning, I simply could not pass up their much praised “Chicken Biscuit” and when the hot cutlet doused in slightly salted butter and hot sauce arrived I instantly understood the hype - a lovely balance of fluffy sweet biscuit and crispy spicy chicken topped with a simple yet satisfying buffalo sauce…sure it doesn’t go with coffee and I may have been better off with the chicken and waffles, but honestly at $6 this might be one of the most delicious values in all of New York and I’d have been a fool to pass it up.

At this point decently satiated with lunch and dinner plans ahead but not wanting to miss out on their other namesake item, I ordered a slice of Apple Pie with Grafton Cheddar and Whipped Cream to go and with the modest bill paid I sat listening to At The Drive-In while finishing one last cup of coffee and asked if I’d like a cup to go (which I gladly accepted) I thanked the team and made my way to the street stopping a few hours later to enjoy the pie which although quite delicious with a flaky butter crust and plenty of apples and cinnamon was unfortunately now cooled preventing the sharp cheddar (separately packed) from melting and leading to a somewhat uneven experience - one I’ll have to remedy on a future trip because I’m pretty sure it would have been as excellent as everything else had I eaten it fresh at the restaurant.


★★★★ — A dog park PT. 2 (BROOKLYN, NY)

I love animals and luckily my girlfriend has a dog. Sometimes we’ll take him here so he can run around.

He’s a 7-pound yorkie, but he prefers the big dog area. The area for smaller dogs is usually pretty empty and not as poppin’ as the big area.

I just like being able to see all the different dogs and like petting them. My girlfriend thinks I’m like a  little kid at the dog park, trying to pet all the dogs.

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